The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst – 10 Lessons

The Best Yes

Lysa TerKeurst’s The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands is a deeply insightful book that teaches readers how to make intentional, wise decisions in the face of overwhelming pressures and responsibilities. It provides practical tools for understanding the difference between good decisions and the best decisions, helping readers avoid burnout and live with purpose. Below are the 10 lessons from the book:

The Best Yes

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1: The Power of the “Best Yes”

The central theme of The Best Yes is learning how to discern the difference between saying “yes” to every opportunity and saying “yes” to the right opportunities. Often, people are overwhelmed by demands because they feel obligated to say yes to everything. This can lead to exhaustion, lack of focus, and missed opportunities for truly meaningful engagement. The “best yes” is about prioritizing decisions that align with your values, purpose, and long-term goals.

  • Key Takeaway: Saying “yes” to everything can drain your energy and focus. Learn to prioritize your commitments by choosing what aligns with your purpose.
  • Application: Begin by evaluating each opportunity and ask yourself whether it supports your ultimate life goals and values.

2: The Danger of Overcommitting

TerKeurst emphasizes the risks of overcommitting, particularly for women who may feel societal pressure to always be available for others. The book explores how constantly saying “yes” can lead to burnout, strained relationships, and a lack of fulfillment. Learning to set boundaries and protect your time is essential for living a balanced and purposeful life.

  • Key Takeaway: Overcommitting can lead to exhaustion and poor decision-making. It’s essential to set clear boundaries around your time and energy.
  • Application: Practice saying “no” to commitments that don’t serve your highest priorities or personal well-being.

3: The Importance of Discernment

A major theme in the book is the need for discernment when faced with decisions. Discernment is about seeking wisdom before making a choice and understanding the broader impact of each decision. TerKeurst encourages readers to take time to reflect and seek guidance, whether through prayer, meditation, or advice from trusted friends and mentors, before committing to something new.

  • Key Takeaway: Discernment is key to making wise decisions. Don’t rush into commitments without seeking wisdom.
  • Application: Take time to reflect on your options and seek advice from trusted sources before making major decisions.

4: Protecting Your Time

In today’s busy world, many people feel stretched thin by constant demands on their time. TerKeurst stresses that time is a finite resource, and learning how to protect it is crucial. By saying no to unnecessary obligations, you free up space for your “best yes” moments—those activities and commitments that bring fulfillment and align with your long-term goals.

  • Key Takeaway: Time is a precious and limited resource. Protect it by saying “no” to things that don’t align with your purpose.
  • Application: Prioritize your schedule by setting aside time for your most important goals, and eliminate distractions or unnecessary commitments.

5: Understanding the “Chase of Approval”

A significant lesson in The Best Yes is the idea of the “chase of approval”—the tendency to seek validation from others by constantly agreeing to their requests. This need for approval can cause people to take on too much, feel overwhelmed, and ultimately lose sight of what truly matters. TerKeurst encourages readers to break free from this pattern by focusing on their intrinsic value rather than external validation.

  • Key Takeaway: Seeking approval from others can lead to overextending yourself and losing focus on what’s important.
  • Application: Learn to find validation within yourself and your relationship with your core values, rather than through the approval of others.

6: The Role of Wisdom in Decision-Making

Wisdom is a central theme throughout the book. TerKeurst teaches that wisdom comes from a combination of life experience, learning, and spiritual guidance. The decisions we make today shape our future, so it’s important to seek wisdom in all areas of life, particularly in moments of uncertainty or pressure.

  • Key Takeaway: Wisdom is essential for making good decisions that positively impact your future. It is gained through experience, reflection, and spiritual guidance.
  • Application: Prioritize gaining wisdom through personal growth, spiritual practices, and learning from past experiences.

7: Dealing with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

The book tackles the modern issue of FOMO—the fear of missing out—which often drives people to say “yes” to too many things. This fear can cause individuals to lose focus on what truly matters, as they try to stay involved in everything. TerKeurst urges readers to resist the pull of FOMO and instead focus on what aligns with their best interests and long-term vision.

  • Key Takeaway: FOMO can lead to overcommitting and missing out on your true priorities. Focus on what matters most to you.
  • Application: When making decisions, evaluate whether the opportunity aligns with your core values, rather than succumbing to the fear of missing out.

8: The Power of Saying “No”

Saying “no” is one of the most powerful lessons in the book. Many people struggle with this because they don’t want to disappoint others. However, TerKeurst explains that saying “no” to the wrong things allows you to say “yes” to the right things. Learning how to decline opportunities graciously is a key skill in creating a balanced, purpose-driven life.

  • Key Takeaway: Saying “no” is not a negative action—it’s a way to create space for your best yes.
  • Application: Practice saying “no” in a kind but firm way, knowing that this opens the door for better opportunities that align with your purpose.

9: Embracing Imperfection

TerKeurst encourages readers to embrace imperfection, both in themselves and in their decisions. Often, the fear of making the wrong choice leads to indecision or overcommitting. The book stresses that it’s okay to make mistakes and that every decision doesn’t have to be perfect. What matters is the intention behind your choices and learning from the outcomes.

  • Key Takeaway: Perfectionism can paralyze decision-making. Embrace the reality that mistakes are part of the process.
  • Application: Allow yourself the grace to make imperfect decisions, trusting that you’ll learn and grow from each experience.

10: Finding Peace Amidst Chaos

At its heart, The Best Yes is about finding peace in a world full of demands. TerKeurst teaches that by making intentional decisions, protecting your time, and learning to say “no” when necessary, you can cultivate a sense of peace and fulfillment. It’s about aligning your life with your deeper values and creating space for what truly matters.

  • Key Takeaway: True peace comes from making intentional decisions that align with your values and priorities.
  • Application: Focus on creating a life that reflects your core values by saying yes to what matters and no to distractions.

Conclusion

The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst is a guide for those seeking to live a more intentional, purposeful life by making wise decisions in the midst of endless demands. The book’s lessons—such as setting boundaries, practicing discernment, saying no, and seeking wisdom—help readers navigate the complexities of modern life with grace and clarity. By applying these principles, individuals can find peace, avoid burnout, and make decisions that lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

The key to making wise decisions is not in doing more, but in doing what aligns best with your values and long-term goals. Following these lessons can help anyone learn to prioritize what truly matters and say yes to the opportunities that will lead to their most fulfilling life (Amazon).

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